Linking from this site to that one is hilarious.
Since then, a couple of my friends have requested that I post one of the examples that Cracked's editors didn't like so much, and that was my Firefly example. So, due to popular demand, here it is:
Firefly/Serenity: Shepherd Book is an Operative
Cancelling Firefly is worst sin Fox has committed since every year when it decides to pump more of Herbert West's serum into the bloated and defiled corpse we once called "The Simpsons." Firefly had more character hooks and intriguing mystery in one half-season than some shows manage to squeeze out of decades. The most frustrating thing about the cancellation was the questions left unanswered: What did the Alliance want with River's brain? What exactly happened to Mal and Zooey in the war? Why did Wash shave his mustache? Who the FUCK is Shepherd Book?
The Fan Theory
Shepherd Book is an "Operative" that has gone rogue. An "Operative" is an Alliance-backed Assassin with a license to do whatever he wants. The job basically boils down to "Space James Bond with a Sword." In the film (Serenity), "The Operative" is the Antagonist: we see him executing high-ranking intelligence officials, killing his own informants, beating the shit out of everyone and blowing up whole villages. He even says he has no problem killing children "if he has to."
Making Book an Operative explains everything: it explains why he knows so much about fighting and war, how he rapidly analyzes every hostile situation the characters get into. It explains why, after he gets shot that one time, his "Ident Card" gets him a free pass into an Alliance Military ship and a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card for all his friends. Also, Book is black, just like the only other operative we see.
It's like they're twins!
What We Got Instead
He was a brown-coat spy posing as an alliance officer, but he left the fight after finding Jesus in a bowl of noodles. No, really. That's it. If you're a fan of the show, this raises a ton of questions: If he was an alliance officer that went AWOL for Jesus, why the hell does his Ident Card still give him that free pass we already mentioned? Why is Jubal Early (the Boba Fett of Firefly) able to immediately identify him as more of a threat than the other people aboard Serenity, opting to incapacitate him while leaving the other crew members asleep?
With this decision, Joss Whedon managed to provide an answer that was somehow really obvious and boring but still made no fucking sense.
